The day after we arrived on board we were told a box of things to get Quick Change ready (ie to add endless amounts of Velcro too) never made it on board so we don’t currently have all that much to do… I am a touch concerned about the next couple of cruises as we have new cast that must be fit and altered (the costumes not the cast).
Our 3times a day ritual of anti-bacterial dousing, that we weren’t given a passenger room, we are in the middle of the ship so the walls constantly creak we don’t have a window or a kettle and aren’t given cookies and tea daily… and we don’t have a bath… is growing a touch tiresome.

But for now we are on board and floating our way to Rhodes Greece after having spent Thursday in Palma Mallorca, an island off the cost of Spain. We explored the castle, went to the chapel, went to the shops, wound our way through Moorish alleys and indulged in Ferrero Roche and apple cinnamon gelato. Thank god for gelato & thank god there isn’t a gelato shop on board ship… I would roll off of here in 5weeks! To that end I have made some attempt, forcing my misguided body clocked self (is it the jet lag or the lack of a regular sunlight cycle due to a windowless room?) to the gym to run 5km a day, work in some crunches, squats  & curls…  aghem and a glass of wine or two…

London was easy to get back into the swing of things… As I cursed the crowds on Oxford Street and Top Shop I basked in the energy and excitement of it all.
I arrived exhausted, slightly broken and very ready for a glass of wine, spending my first day mainly sleeping and chatting… Saturday found her pace lunching and pinting (verb; enjoying relaxed pints of your choice) with friends and then climbed UP to Primrose Hill, though a part of Regents Park for some reason I had never been there before. The view of London was AMAZING…  I am looking forward to getting back to discover more  (and the same) friends, drink more pints and hopefully catch a few openings. If anyone is up for seeing a show or exploring something interesting and unpredictable, I am in!

My time has been busy though, and i am beginning to wonder if a full time job would really work with my hectic schedule. I think I need to be independently wealthy to truly enjoy the free time I have become accustomed too. Shortly after I arrived back from Christmas at home Carla and I went and saw Lalala Human Steps at Sadlers Wells, they are a Montreal based Dance Troupe that seamlessly combines classical ballet with modern dance, we paid for the cheapest seats and when the lights went out we scrambled to seats several price brackets up, I love the dark (and the ballet)!

In between dinners with Alice and her Italian flat-mate, knitting myself something (finally), coffee with my student film friends, Columbia Road Flower Market, cream tea in South Kensington with Mim, and of course the constant & the great debate about where I should go and what I should do next… London, Toronto, Paris… the first two are feasible the last an impulsive dream /potential reality (isn’t everything potential reality?); I have also been to see a house that belonged to a gentleman named Dennis Severs, a beautiful house (where he actually lived in the exact manner it is now left) not unlike Niels’; filled with things things things, gorgeous, half eaten, fictional, non-fictional, demure, impulsive things… set as though someone has just left the room and you will find them down the hall or in the powder room… except they are never to be found, having just moved on to the next room. In the evening the entire house is lit by candlelight and a coal burning fire is alight in each room. Every room has a distinctive smell orange and cinnamon in one, smoky fire in another. Though gone Dennis legacy lives on though friends that tend to his house and honor his vision of becoming lost in another time via this ‘still life drama’.

The other most recent and exciting circumstance was a trip to Paris, with many many thanks to our flatmate Ginny, Carla and I were sent to spend 24hours in Paris for an upcoming issue of BMI Baby’s inflight magazine, we were give flights & a hotel for one night in the most romantic city in the world (check out the photo’s under J’adore Paris to the right). The travel portion of our trip was fraught with almost mishap that a second either way & we could have been seriously inconvenienced (stress was the name of the game) but somehow in the end it all worked… with each unpredictable circumstance… (I am talking almost missing trains by 3seconds, having no real train ticket just a few pieces of paper with a reference number, seemingly absent from flight schedules, losing boarding passes in the 15feet between security and the gate, and in the last leg of our journey losing (I personally believe they were never dispensed from the machine) our train tickets home… a mistake that very nearly cost us 100£.

…Oh but Paris, none of our travel woes compromised, undermined or diminished our experiences. We strolled down the streets of Montemartre, checked the dome of Sacre Coeur, perused the bins at Tati, went for a tea, strawberry creme brule & an admire of the male beauty at Mariage Frere, walked to the Islands and enjoyed the grandure or Notre Dame and the intimacy of Ste Chappell, marveled at the treasures at the Musee D’Orsay and enjoyed wandering endlessly down the streets and grand boulevards. We ate crepes, cheese plates, 3 person salads (yes there was only two of us), raspberry tarts, copious amounts of cafe au lait and of course lovely glass after glass of Rose (oh just one more, if you insist…) mostly while sitting on patios under heat lamps while again admiring the sites ahem sights (we particularly liked the tall curly hair, blue & brown eyed beauties).

After returning from Paris I spent my week making mens Tudor hats for Academy Costumes. It was so nice to be sewing… & hopefully there is more to come. That weekend we had a clothing exchange at Alice’s, it was fantastic, very well received and more like a giant Canadian tea party than a clothing swap… I made scones that we covered in raspberry jam and clotted cream, I am drooling just thinking about it! The fun didn’t stop there, on Monday Zoe Kreye arrived for her London mini break. On holiday from school & the German country town she now calls home she came to get lost in the city… I couldn’t be her full time tour guide as I have (as of last week & I will go more in depth about it at a later date) started working on a festival… so my day time was limited… though every morning we started out with a lovely bowl of porridge and fruit… and ever evening we would have a wonderful curry or salad & plenty of time to chat!!!! On Friday we wandered from the infamous Oxford Street Primark through Hyde Park to South Kensington, had tea at Lauderee in Harrods and then in complete contrast hummus & pita on a bench on the side of the road, oh how quickly the mighty have fallen… We then wandered through the treasures at the V&A having one of the most delightful experiences I have had there in a long time… no agenda, nothing in particular to do or see… just a good old wander, a few moments respite in the courtyard basking in the sun & a look through the gift shop.

By the time Zoe left on Sunday morning I was quite used to having someone to share my mornings & evenings with, and totally sad to see her go…

there are more photo’s of Zoe’s time in London plus more to the right under ‘new beginnings’ check it out!

Such bonds and friendships are created in such a short time on a film set, especially a short… you spend such an intense week, working, laughing, making mistakes, dealing with conflict, finding great satisfaction in the small things and then after a really long night shoot on the streets of Dalston a glass of bad champagne and a vegie version of an english breakie it is over… and you are left feeling satisfied at a job well done, paranoid of a mistake you might have over looked, and a little empty because now not only is your new family gone, moved on to the next project but what do you do with your time… I wonder though if a feature is the same or if it is less personal, less friendly, more hierarchal, more of a job (so to speak). I hope not.

So again I am left, as most freelance positions, with a void to fill and the need to find something to do with my time…
I have been trying tho, the work (tho unpaid), the amazing parties across from Buckingham Palace, the all night shoots, the new friends, the anticipated (still to come) trips to Paris…

My biggest fear is leaving London prematurely, to not have given it my all… And I suppose another worry is not knowing what ‘my all’ actually is. How long am I willing to stick it out, how broke am I willing to be, how many jobs unrelated to fashion or costume am I willing to take? How will I feel coming home after 5 months? (though I suppose I will have been away for more like 8months), will I feel fulfilled, will the longing to run, to explore and to escape still exist at a cellular level, will I still be a gypsy at heart and feel like breaking out of the prison I create around myself?

Solace has come from Sinead O’Connor, stovetop espresso with crushed cardamom and a voracious appetite for the gushy tender hearted romantic comedy, particularly ones with quirky girls getting the gorgeous well adjusted guy & 2 extra points if they incorporate Christmas. So am I sad (and by sad I mean pathetic) or am I just looking for comfort? I also find myself listening to the occasional Christmas song and thinking about the handmade presents I will hopefully have time to make, those of you who know me well know that Christmas in September is not a new thing for me but I frequently wonder if my nostalgia is brought on by a homesickness brought on by lack of job, money & social network or if it is a genuine need for familiarity, security and my moms roasted veggies.

So I guess one of the questions I have to ask myself is ‘How long do you force yourself to be in a perpetual state of indecision…’ Maybe I need to live and commit to living rather than commit to this constant state of flux I have forced upon myself for the past 11years… so I wonder if it is time to give it up… I just don’t know what is right, and I don’t feel I belong anywhere particularly and limbo has been a difficult place to live.

The past few weeks I have spent a Saturday at Hampstead Heath enjoying the sunshine with Claire, wandering soho for Agent Provocateur knickers –and ahem jobs… I went to an Arsenal vs. Prague Spartans football game… a friend of Carla’s has a family box, we sat with Will & his fiancé Vaida, his parents, his brother & friends, we ate dinner at half time and were served wine by our private server… not bad not bad at all… Arsenal won.
On Friday Carla & I went to the Tate Modern and saw the Dali exhibition, room after room after room of Dali at various points in his life… I have seen a few Dali exhibitions and this by far tops them all. There was several movies he made, collaborated on or designed… the most wonderful was an animated Walt Disney /Dali collaboration called Destino, it wasn’t completed until 2003 because of financial trouble at the time but I highly recommend it, see it if you can. Then we went to the members only lounge snacked on nibbles and drank a bottle of rose.
On Saturday we went to the noisiest bar with the most interesting drinks in Angel… Tequila mojito’s, Procesco & fresh blueberry cocktails…. For Carla’s friend Elle’s birthday.
Sunday I worked and then Carla and I met in Chelsea & went to a Retro, Vintage, Antique clothing, hats, accessories, shoes jewelry, textile etc. sale. My piece of heaven.
It was amazing, the most fantastic and expensive clothing sale I have ever been too…
I have been working (since Friday Aug 31st) at the dance company I was at in July… I will likely work the rest of this week and hopefully some or all of the following week…
I am still trying to find work in the movie industry, applying to volunteer positions and attempting to write my most excellent cover letter that will convince all the designers I am the girl for her/him. Where am I living? I am living with Carla basically until my room becomes available at the end of the month. Her roommates have been incredibly kind and don’t seem to mind as long as I continue to bake ginger cookies (I finally found where to buy candied ginger & vegan butter!), carrot cake and whatever else I can come up with ~ vegan brownies are certainly next on the hit list…

The only thing missing from my life at the moment is all of you… my friends and family who are so much a part of my daily existence… know that despite the distance and often lack of contact I think of you often xox

Oh & more pics to look at…
‘london with the C/3 & toey’ –the family trip to London /England August ‘07
‘august & everything after’ –a fairly self indulgent photo stash